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BLOG » Why Reducing Anxiety Starts with Self-Partnership
For many of us, anxiety is something that we live with on a daily basis. It can be debilitating and make it difficult to function in our everyday lives. When we are constantly stressed our nervous system gets out of whack. Fortunately, there are things we can do to help regulate our nervous system and reduce our anxiety.
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Why Reducing Anxiety Starts with Self-Partnership

October 18, 2022

For many of us, anxiety is something that we live with on a daily basis. It can be debilitating and make it difficult to function in our everyday lives. When we are constantly stressed, it's no wonder that we feel on edge all the time. The daily stresses of life wreak havoc on our nervous system. Fortunately, there are things we can do to help regulate our nervous system and reduce our anxiety.

When we are in a state of anxiety, our sympathetic nervous system is activated and we go into a stress response. This means that our bodies are preparing to escape from danger, which can lead to a whole host of physical symptoms like increased heart rate, shallow breathing, and tense muscles.

One of the best things we can do to counter this is to do activities that trigger our "rest and digest" state. This is where self-partnership comes in. This means taking care of ourselves and being our own best friend. When we are kind and loving to ourselves, we create a sense of safety within. This allows the nervous system to relax and heal.

One of the quickest and easiest ways (aka biohacking) to create a sense of safety within ourselves is through gentle self-touch. Practices like self soft touch send a signal from our bodies to our brains that we are safe and that it's OK to relax. When we are safe there is no need to be in a state of alertness.

This simple act can help reduce anxiety quicker than you probably think.

Tips for Biohacking Your Nervous System with Self-Touch

  • Start with as soft and slow as you can manage. Soft and gentle sends signals to the brain that you're safe. Quick and hard put your brain on alert. You can always pick up the speed but you want to first send the signals of safety before the speed and intensity increases.
  • Behind the ear is a great place to start with. One of the nerves that you stimulate when you start with touch behind the ear is the Vagus nerve. The Vagus nerve plays a key part in the stress response cycle so when you send signals of safety through the nerve, your brain will reduce your stress response.
  • Remembering to do gentle touch when you're really anxious is not easy. Practice in times when you're not super anxious but maybe a bit stressed. One of my favorite places is in the car when I'm stopped at a light or in traffic. If you know that you're going to be driving at a certain time, set an alarm to remind you to do your favorite stress reducing activity. (This is a favorite biohack for my ADHD clients)
  • If you have a favorite breathing exercise (like the one I teach at the end of the Practical Neurobiology: Stress and Trauma masterclass - It's FREE), incorporate that into your touch practice, too. You'll get even more anxiety reducing benefits when you combine breath with soft touch.

If you're struggling with anxiety, know that you're not alone. Millions of people deal with anxiety on a daily basis. And while it may seem like there's no way out, know that there are things you can do to help ease your anxiety and start regulating your nervous system so you can prevent the anxious thoughts from happening in the first place.

Start by being your own best friend and creating a sense of safety within yourself. Remember, reducing anxiety starts with self-partnership.

Ready to learn the skills to reduce and manage your anxiety for the rest of your life? Check out my program Quantum Sexuality. It's a 12 week program that walks you through each of the foundational pieces of having a regulated nervous system.

Wendy is a trauma-informed orgasm coach that specializes in helping women take ownership of their sexual pleasure through simple practices that are backed up by neuroscience and physiology.

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