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What is ADHD and what are the symptoms?

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. The symptoms of ADHD vary from person to person depending on the different type of ADHD they have. Some people with ADHD may only have problems with focus, while others may be hyperactive and impulsive as well. There is no one "right" way to have ADHD, and everyone experiences symptoms differently.

There are three different types of ADHD:

  1. Hyperactive-Impulsive. This is the one that most people are familiar with because it has the most outward facing characteristics. Most common in young boys, people with this type have difficulty sitting still and fidget a lot. Interrupting people, due to impulse control, is another common characteristic.
  2. Inattentive. These people get bored easily and attention is sporadic. They will lose focus, lose things, and make simple mistakes. This is more commonly diagnosed in girls.
  3. Combined. With this diagnosis, the symptoms fluctuate between the two frequently. (This is what I have)

While everyone struggles with these symptoms, people with ADHD experience these symptoms daily and it affects their overall functioning at home, school, work, and in social situations.

How does dopamine play a role in ADHD?

Dopamine plays a major role in ADHD because it is responsible for focus, motivation, and pleasure. It is responsible for activating the brain's "Reward System" but that name is not really accurate. At the time of the early research, the studies that were set up to test the role of dopamine all used rewards, meaning something "positive," but in reality the function of dopamine is to pay attention or take action when something is uncertain. This is why dopamine is linked to addictions and other non "rewarding" behavior. (Check out my blog post "What is Dopamine?" to learn more about this amazing neurotransmitter)

When someone has ADHD, their dopamine levels are usually low. While the cause of ADHD is still unknown, there seems to be two main theories why dopamine is low: over active dopamine transporters (the transporters use the dopamine quicker than what can be produced) and structural differences in the gray matter of the brain.

The prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is responsible for executive functions such as focus, motivation, and lots of other important social functions, is modulated by dopamine. Regardless of the cause of low levels of dopamine, the way to help people with ADHD is to get control over their dopamine levels.

How can orgasms help increase dopamine production?

There are two other neurotransmitters that are tied to dopamine production: norepinephrine and serotonin. Typically, the medications that are prescribed and help people with ADHD either increase dopamine & norepinephrine (Adderall, Vyvanse, etc) or increase serotonin (Wellbutrin, Effexor, and other anxiety or depression medications). All three of these neurotransmitters play an important role in having ADHD symptoms or not.

Having regular orgasms increases the production of these neurotransmitters. From the moment you begin getting aroused, you increase norepinephrine. As you build towards an orgasm, you increase dopamine. After you orgasm, your body ramps up serotonin production.

Another added bonus is that when you orgasm, your brain produces gamma brain waves (so does meditation, but orgasms are much more fun then meditating). Gamma has been known to increase brain gray matter density. As you just learned, the gray matter has a role in dopamine production. The more you can increase your brain gray matter, the better your dopamine levels will be.

Giving yourself a quick orgasm is the quickest way to increase dopamine levels in your body without the use of medication. But quick hits of dopamine from an orgasm aren't enough to sustain increased production levels.

Developing a self pleasure practice will increase dopamine over time

I'm all for grabbing my vibrator and giving myself a quick orgasm to help me get motivated when I'm procrastinating on a task, but that's not always an option. And quick bursts of dopamine don't create sustained dopamine levels.

There needs to be an increase in norepinephrine AND serotonin along with dopamine in order to make lasting effects. If you are using orgasm to alter your neurobiology, then long, sustained sexual encounters are the key. The more time you spend in arousal, the more you "train your brain" to increase norepinephrine and dopamine. Your serotonin production levels after an orgasm are determined based on the amount of dopamine. If you have lower dopamine leading to orgasm, you will produce lower levels of serotonin after orgasm.

But it's more than just the production of dopamine. Remember how gamma waves increase brain matter? Well, self pleasure practices that are based on neurobiology will increase the time you spend in gamma brain waves and Alpha brainwaves.

Alpha brain wave state is when you are focused and alert. Beta brain waves are when your brain is thinking quickly and solving problems, but focus is not a priority. People with ADHD have an imbalanced time spent in Beta brain waves as compared to neurotypical individuals who have a good balance between alpha and beta.

While long, intense rounds of passionate sex are definitely a fun and great way to increase your dopamine levels, not all of us have partners and even those that do have partners don't always having marathon sessions. And besides, your health and well-being should be in your hands, not your lovers.

Developing a self pleasure practice will help you increase your dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin levels while simultaneously increase the amount of time you spend in Alpha brain waves. A win for neurotypical people. A win-win for people with ADHD.

What is the cervix?

It is the passageway from the vagina (the outside world) to the uterus (the inner self). The cervix is a small, cylindrical organ made of quickly regenerating cells located at the lowermost part of the uterus, and accessible through the back of the vagina. Imagine a small ball with a tiny hole going through it.


There are 3 pairs of nerves going to the cervix: pelvic, hypogastric, and vagus nerve. For such a small organ, it is one of the mostly highly innervated organs in the body. Often overlooked, the cervix does a lot. For example, it opens and closes to allow sperm to pass through and supports a growing fetus by keeping the opening of the uterus closed. With multiple functions, there needs to be nerves to allow it to do it's job.

If a female is cycling, the cervix changes structure, shape, and positioning depending on where they are in the menstrual cycle. During ovulation, the cervix softens (almost blending in with the tissue of the uterus), releases thin cervical fluid to allow sperm to pass through easily, rises high up (usually so high or deep that a finger cannot touch it), and opens. If you are able to touch it, it feels soft like wet lips. After ovulation, it closes up and begins to harden. The cervical fluid thickens to trap and prevent bacteria from entering the uterus. During menstruation, the cervix shifts into a lower position, and the hole opens up once again to allow the passage of blood. If you were to touch it, it would feel much like a rubber ball or the tip of your nose.

The cervix has a direct line to the other passageway in the body... the throat. Connected through the vagus nerve, the cervix tightens and relaxes as the throat tightens and relaxes.

Spiritual role of the cervix

Besides it literally being the portal for the passage of life, it is at the root of the body and is the energetic location of the root chakra. The root chakra is our base and foundation. It holds the energy of security, safety, and your place in society.

Whenever there is uncertainty of security (physical or financial), uncertainty about your place in society (career, relationships, marriage, family) and feelings of being unsafe, the energy created by your body from the act of being stressed flows down to the cervix (or the perineum in males). This energy is stored in the cervix (and also other womb structures) until it is released.

However, most females never learn practices to release the energy stored in their cervix. Stored energy in the cells changes the DNA within the cells. These changes can lead to improper cellular replication. Without a strong immune system to clear the incorrectly replicated cells, the cells can proliferate leading to cancer and other medical conditions.

The energy of the cervix

Whether you still have your cervix or it has been removed (hysterectomy or partial hysterectomy), it is important to move the energy that flows their during times of stress. There are four types of energies that flow to the cervix and can be trapped within the cervix:

  1. Electrical/Mental - The nervous system utilizes electrical energy. Developing practices that regulate your nervous system will help move stored electrical energy out of the cervix.
  2. Mechanical/Emotional - The fascia (the connected web like structure that covers every organ and muscle in your body) utilizes mechanical energy. Somatic and movement practices will help move the stored electromagnetic energy out of the cervix.
  3. Chemical/Physical - The cells utilize chemical energy. Supporting your body with proper nutrition, water, sunlight, and breath will help the cells use chemical energy sufficiently to be able to replicate healthy cells instead of damaged cells.
  4. Electromagnetic/Spiritual - The DNA of the cells repairs itself when exposed to certain kinds of electromagnetic energies. In particular, the two most studied and thus "proven" forms of electromagnetic energy that alter DNA is sound energy and light energy. Currently, the light therapies (photodynamic therapy or PDT) for cervical cell repair are only at the clinical trial phases. But sound therapy, such as a sound bath, is readily available in most areas. There is also lots of research into how using your own voice to create sound is healing. If you are familiar with different yoga modalities, then that may not come as a surprise to you since ancient yoga practices have included using your voice for centuries.

How can the cervix be a tool for healing wounding and trauma?

Understanding the important role that cervix plays in a females well-being is the first step. If you've read the book "The Body Keeps the Score" or "Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma," then you're aware of how the body holds our trauma. Now that you understand the different energies of the cervix and the spiritual role of the cervix, you can see how the cervix holds much of the energy of the traumas we experience.

Yoni dearmouring is a practice that releases stored energy from the cervix, vagina, and pelvic floor. It is a very powerful practice because of how much energy can be released. Learning how to support yourself when you do ANY kind of energy release is imperative.

Each time energy is released, there is a paired memory (or multiple memories) that are tied to that energy. As humans, we are constantly trying to making meaning of events that take place (it's part of our innate survival skills). When memories resurface, our default survival pattern is to try and make sense of them.

When you release energy and have memories resurface it can be confusing, very emotional, and often overwhelming. Your brain will be searching for meaning and trying to make sense of what is happening. Without support, it can feel insurmountable to get through, especially if you have had a lot of stressful events in your life and you haven't been releasing the built up energy. Notice I said stressful events and not traumatic events. Many people do not realize that repeated stress without release causes the same sorts of problems in the body as big, traumatic events.

With support and guidance from an experienced facilitator, practices that help you connect to your yoni and release energy will create an opportunity to release the energy stored in your cervix. Once your cervix begins to release energy, your body will have new pathways opened up to experience pleasure.

How to have a cervical orgasm

Yes, it is possible to have an orgasm through the cervix. If you're like I was when I first learned about a cervical orgasm, often called a cervical kiss, then you're probably there is no way that it's possible. All of my past experiences of sex and my cervix involved pain. The thought of anything touching my cervix would make me cringe.

When you touch a muscle that has been overworked, never massaged, and ignored, it's going to be painful. Your cervix is the same.

If the only time your cervix has been "touched" has been via a pap smear, a biopsy, a LEEP, or a thrusting eager penis, then it is going to be tight and guarded. Your body is smart. It knows how to protect yourself.

Just like the rest of your body that learns how to relax during a massage, your cervix can relax, too. Because your cervix is highly innervated it can experience pain and numbness, but also immense pleasure. Cervical orgasms are different from clitoral orgasms because they utilize different nerves. The experience is a deeper sensation (meaning that the feelings originate deeper in your body as compared to the clitoris which is at the surface of your body).

Cervical orgasms can only be achieved through penetration since the cervix is located inside the vagina. Whereas, a clitoral orgasm can even be achieved with your clothes on. Both are amazing. Neither orgasm is better than the other but of course, different people will prefer one over the other. Of course, if you can create a situation with a blended orgasm (more than one orgasm at the same time) by combining clitoral and cervical, let's just say that it is truly an out-of-body experience!

You may be eager to go in and start stimulating the cervix but that's not how it works. In order to have a cervical orgasm, you must first connect to your cervix, release stored energy, awaken any numbness, and create a container of safety within yourself to allow the pleasure to come through. Each of these steps must be taken. Some people find the process quick and easy while others take longer. With practice, cervix owners can experience a cervical orgasm. Even people that have had their cervix removed can experience deep orgasms

By understanding the energies of the cervix and learning how to support yourself through energy releases, you can access previously unknown levels of pleasure and connection. It is possible to have a cervical orgasm, but first you must connect with your cervix and release any stored energy. With the right support, you can open up a whole new world of sexual experience.

Soon after I squirted for the first time, an image of a clitoris came up on my Facebook newsfeed. I would love to say that I knew about it, but sadly, I was freaking blown away. I could not believe that there was an entire organ in my body that I had never learned about.

Clearly my sex education classes were lacking. But what is even more disturbing is that I took Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) in college. In fact, I took both A & P 100 and A & P 200. I even worked on a cadaver! In all of my studies of the human body, I had never came across a picture of a clitoris.

My mind was blown.

Anatomy of the Clitoris

The clitoris is made up of three main parts: the glans, the shaft (cavernous body), and the bulbs (spongious body). The glans is the tip of the clitoris, which is accessible from outside of the body and is covered by a hood of skin. The clitoral glans is what most people think of when they hear the word clitoris and is often the only part shown in biology books (it's no wonder female orgasms seem difficult to many people when they aren't even taught proper anatomy). Like a penis, the shaft of the clitoris extends out from the glans. Unlike the penis, only the descending part of the clitoris is accessible from the outside. The remaining part is inside the body and extends downwards. It has two legs (crus) that extend outwards to make space for the urethral opening.


There are two bulbs, like there are two scrotum on males. Each bulb is located outside of the urethral and vaginal openings (under the labia). The clitoris is made of the same kind of tissue as a penis so it will also become engorged when aroused. You can usually see the outline of the bulbs under the labia when a female is fully aroused.

The average clitoris is about 7-12 cm (approximately 3-4 inches) when it is not engorged which is about the same as the average flaccid penis (7-10 cm). There have not been sufficient studies to show how large clitorises are when they are engorged, but considering that they are made of the same tissue one can assume that they do indeed grow in size when aroused.

"Typical textbook descriptions of the clitoris lack detail and include inaccuracies. It is impossible to convey clitoral anatomy in a single diagram showing only 1 plane, as is typically provided in textbooks, which reveal it as a flat structure. "

What is the best way to touch a clitoris?

While there isn't a best way to stimulate a clitoris, the best way to begin is by being soft and slow. Every person is going to have different life experiences that when combined with their unique anatomical variations is going to lead to enjoying different things.

But one thing is for certain, if you go at a clitoris too hard or too fast you will activate the Stress response (aka Fight or Flight). I'm hoping that if you're touching a clitoris it's because you want the clitoris owner to have a pleasurable time and not send them into unexplained anxiety. Knowing that you could unintentionally activate the stress response, it is always best to approach a clitoris with reverence.

And by reverence, I really do mean worship that clitoris!

The clitoris should not be treated like the Easy button because you're expecting to win a surprise. Instead, it should be treated like a Faberge egg because it is unique and deserves to be handled with care.

But most importantly, a clitoris should be touched the way the clitoris owner wants it to be touched. Don't just ask "do you like that baby?" Really, what is the right answer? The one you want to hear or the one that will offend you? Please don't put your partner in the position of having to figure out what to say, especially if you want there ever to be an orgasm. Because the moment the brain has to think of a response is the moment focus on the body's sensations disappear. And it is nearly impossible for a clitoris owner to orgasm when they're concerned about the other person's feelings.

Orgasm requires to be present in your body and to be keenly aware of the pleasurable sensations you're experiencing.

Some people like it soft, some like it hard. Some like it slow, some like it fast. And don't be scared of stroking the clitoral shaft that is accessible under the hood (you don't need to lift up the hood). Or playing with other parts of the vulva (both sets of labia are really sensitive, too).

There is no one perfect way to touch a clitoris. But the best way to touch a clitoris is the way that the clitoris owner wants.

Now that you know a little more about the clitoris, go out and explore! Experiment with different techniques and speeds. Instead of asking if it feels good, ask if you should go harder or if you're in the right spot (you'd be surprised how many people get that wrong and no one really likes having to be the one to tell their partner that they haven't actually found the clitoris).

If this concept is new to you then you probably missed my "Make her come" class. Luckily, you can buy the replay and take as many notes as you want.

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